How to react properly when your child is in a fit of anger
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Named for Americans "Tantrums", anger outbursts are the nightmare of most parents of young children and preschoolers. The typical reaction of an adult to the onset of nervous manifestations of prichids is not a correct one, in most cases. Why? Because the natural instinct is to respond to the child with the same nervous attitude, when she must be calm and as positive as possible.
Your child may have a fit of anger at any time, without anticipating it, and not because he wants to make your life a nightmare. Remember these times you are dealing with a growing child, not an adult, who should be treated as such. Show him understand his emotions without judging him and say YES to the "peace treaty" between you two, through a correct attitude.
Why children suffer from seizures of anger
Children do not have anger outbursts because they want to bring their parents into exasperation or because they have nasty plans in their minds to manipulate older ones with cries and cries.
The little ones go through the so-called "tantrums" because they have not yet developed those psychological mechanisms by which they can manage their frustrations or feelings of overwhelming, anxiety and anxiety.
In other words, when your child has a crisis of anger, he or she actually tells you he wants relief, comfort, understanding and attention. Of course, they are triggered, almost every time, by the desire to get something that is forbidden to them.
If, in previous circumstances, you told YES just to quiet him in public, let's say, he will continue to scream and cry with the pathos, in order to get what he wants - not the object or activity obtained gives him the greatest satisfaction, but the fact that you listened to him, gave him belief, made him feel loved by the fact that you eventually gave up.
Feelings of frustration can be repressed later in life, so you can't pretend to your child to behave like an adult. But you can help him learn, step by step, this important skill.
How to effectively stop children's anger outbursts
Here is a mission seemingly impossible for parents - efficiently managing anger crises. It would be great to have a universally valid recipe for stopping tantrums as a miracle, but as all children are different, so are the solutions that really work.
As a first recommendation, keep in mind that your emotional states are immediately copied by your child. If in a crisis of crying in public, you give in to the impulsivity and you doubt it, you address it with many negations or, worse, you abrupt it, expect it to amplify the crisis of nerves, never to diminish.
The first step is to keep your calm, at any price, even if it seems impossible. Inhale deeply by counting slowly to 10, imagine an unforgettable tropical landscape or visualize how your child is quiet when he observes how tolerant and kind you treat him. It is up to you to give her the example to follow.
The second step is to detect why your child is behaving this way. Maybe he is tired, hungry, bored, does not feel well, have a combination of all of these, then validate his condition and understand that you are with him. You can tell her "I understand why you feel that way, and I got tired, I'm here next to you, I expect you to calm down".
When the child insists on getting something, and you do not consider it necessary to respond positively, offer him an alternative: thus, he will see that you do not say NO and do not disregard him, but make sure you meet his expectations, in - one way you can.
Remember that a child is not able to sit still or in one place for a long time, not even at the table. Therefore, you must always be prepared to provide her with a source of fun that will keep her busy and connected, whether it's a toy, a book or other children.
How do you manage to cope with your child's anger attacks? Have you discovered a strategy that works every time? Tell us the secret in the comment section below!
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Tags Autonomy in children Independent child