The shy child

The shy child

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Strongly related to the period of childhood, shyness often becomes an adult social disability.

Strongly related to the period of childhood, shyness often becomes an adult social disability.
The predisposition to shyness and emotionality can be born in the form of a temperament trait, but the determining factors are rather the family environment in which the child grows up, his social relations and some important events related to them.

Temperament differences between parents and children

Examples: The too jovial and disinhibited father can push his son in (social) situations inappropriate to his more detained nature. The child does not cope or does not have the necessary disposition and feels complex. The authoritative mother, eager for exceptional school performance on the part of the child, can create a feeling of inferiority to him "other children learn better", "what do you think is so difficult, doesn't your head go?"
Or conversely, an effervescent, energetic, loving child and stressed or anxious parents.

The latter often inhibit and limit it until they manage to "calm" it all. The rejected child, too often and unfairly disputed, lacking support, rewards, praise and encouragement, the victim of parental stress, can become a shy child.
Shyness can be a copied behavior over the years from a shy parent. The child "learns" from him how to react in certain situations, empathizes with it, suffers with it, but the suffering of the parent will become of the child.
The hyperprotected child, far from disease, exertion, trials, fails to handle when he has to do something on his own.
We must notice that some degree of shyness we all have. To a degree, timidity can be part of a person's charm. But this is what is seen from the outside. Sometimes.

How the shy child manifests

Hesitating, lacking in courage, often scared as if he were in great danger, complex, the shy child is introverted, inactive, hard to relate to the other children. Shyness is more than lack of courage. It is the fear of being rejected, of being ridiculed, the fear that it is good for nothing, it is the lack of self-confidence.
The shy child suffers. If he is very small, he hides behind his mother's skirt, runs away, nervously rejects the attempts of those around him to relate to him. Shyness can be heightened with age and self-feeding.
Gradually, the child realizes his difficulties and, with this, the situation worsens. In time, it will associate with its various complex fears related to its appearance, intellectual capabilities, etc.
When it reaches puberty, the suffering is great. Being permanently focused on its so-called flaws, it analyzes its negative parts and does not recognize or identify the positive ones. He is very concerned about his damaged image, the opinion of others about him, as if all eyes would notice him and especially criticize him. It is extremely difficult to relate and this becomes obsessive.
As it grows, it develops strong and visible psychosomatic manifestations: the timid blushes and fears that it blushes like this, hides his face, sweats, the heart rate is accelerated. His thinking is blocked in the company of others, he cannot speak, he stumbles. He's introverted, depressed, lonely. His greatest fear is to be seen, "discovered".
Shyness is always accompanied by anxiety, many resort to alcohol, tobacco, other drugs, to mask their lives and to create an image of a relaxed and interesting man. Often shy children use the Internet to connect, hide behind the screen, but this only aggravates their difficulties.
If not observed and helped by a child, a shy child will find it very difficult to fight when, as an adult, shyness is deeply rooted in his or her psyche. The timid is marginalized, but also self-marginalized, attributing to others bad opinions about himself. He considers that those around him despise him when, in fact, he himself is not able to value himself.

Tags Timidity children